World Suicide Prevention Day - The Ups & Downs of Thyroid Disease

I've always wanted to write about this.  I've started many times and have stopped, then discarded everything I wrote.  Depression is a hard subject for me on many levels.  I've written about anxiety and panic attacks but never about my depression, and never about my suicide attempt.

I was a pretty happy kid.  I grew up well & did ok in school.  I was a very open-minded teenager, straight edge, and rebellious!  I had a good group of friends, and though they did help mould me, I always made my own decisions and knew right from wrong.  I would butt heads with my parents, get in screaming matches with them and have bouts of crying but I was a teenager and very expressive.  I never considered myself to be depressed or feel depressed.  Things got better after I graduated.  I moved out, I worked a lot of jobs, I hung out with my friends a lot, & I traveled.  Things were good.

When I lived in CA my anxiety got worse.  I had a terrible bout of hives that kept me out of work for almost 2 weeks after getting allergy shots, which I stopped the shots all together after that.  After that it just seemed month after month I would get more ill, more tired, and issues with migraines and asthma got worse.  I was afraid to go anywhere on my own, nor did I want to go out.  Most of my time was spent traveling to work, at work, then traveling home and just being so exhausted when I finally got home.  Work was good.  Even with my health issues I was excelling at my job and was chosen to work in our operations support after we lost our one contract.  Lots of other little things built up.  I went on prednisone a few times, gained about 20lbs and then my fiance broke things off.

I don't remember packing anything, I don't remember much of the move.  I remember not eating, not being able to.  Just wanting to sleep, wanting to find a way to work things out but feeling worthless.  Everything was my fault.  I knew my parents were there, even a good friend of mine came to visit me (we're still friends to this day), but I didn't know what was really going on around me.  I slept and cried for weeks.  I was put on an antidepressant & I moved back to NY leaving one of my cats behind.

The timeline of events after I moved back is a little hazy.  I was surrounded by people, friends, family but I didn't want to be there.  I didn't know why I had been getting sicker and sicker.  I couldn't comprehend everything that just happened.  Within a month my ex's new girlfriend moved in.  Not long after that, my 1st cat I owned on my own died right in front of me, drowning in the fluids that filled his lungs.  I later found out was caused by a fungal infection really only known in animals on the west coast so this made me feel like it was all my fault, if I never took him there it wouldn't have happened.  My parents were fighting with each other.  I felt like I didn't mean anything to anyone though people were constantly telling me how happy they were I was back, and how much they loved me and supported me.

I wanted to end it.  And I almost did.  I remember hearing my parents fighting upstairs and I felt stuck.  I was 25, had no job, I'm stuck with this.  I had put in so many resumes and no one was calling me back.  I'm a failure.

I went in the bathroom and took 12, 50mg Diphenhydramine (Benadryl) pills equaling a total of 600mg.  From what I've read, it seems the maximum dosing in a 24 hour period, spaced out, is 300mg.  I doubled that taking them all at once.

My mom came downstairs and asked if I wanted to shopping and I said, "Sure."  We weren't out for too long & things got fuzzy very quickly.  I think I remember telling my mom that I was just too tired.  The next thing I remember is waking up over 20 hours later on their bed.

I didn't dream.  But I felt like there was a long absence, some part of my life went missing for those hours, completely out of consciousness.  I woke up, hazy for the next few days, wondering if that's what death will be like.  Like... nothing.  But I was happy to be awake.  No one knew what I had done.  And my parents never found out until today, when going through my medical history with my new ND.  I never would have done something like that years prior.  I would have sucked it up and moved on.  So what had changed?  Not long after I had done that, my allergist confirmed I had antithyroid antibodies & Hashimoto's Thyroiditis.  I was hypothyroid.

And since, I've struggled.  I've had the hardest struggle of my life battling my thyroid autoimmune diseases.  Yes, depression, anxiety... mental disorders go hand in hand with Hashimoto's!  I've said I'd never do something like that again but I have been close.  When I feel my life slipping from my hands I start pushing people away from me because I don't want them to see me sick.  And many people don't get exactly what's going on.  I told someone once about having panic attacks and they were all like, "Yeah, this girl had one once and she was all flipping out!" Umm, no that's not it.  When I get them I'm in so much pain I tense up and get extremely quiet.  So I just stopped trying to explain it to people.  It's also why it took so long for me to write this post, though I've been meaning to.

Being in this boat myself, if you have a friend or family member who did commit suicide, do not blame yourself.  Don't think that if you could have done just one thing differently it wouldn't have happened.  It is ultimately our decision.  Still, be there for us as much as you can.  Constantly show compassion for your friends, family, and even strangers.

And for those of us suffering, I know all too well how hard it is to change your mindset.  Everything is easier said than done but I am living proof that if you fight you will come out on top.  If my one allergist hadn't known to check my thyroid just because of a hives outbreak years prior, I may have never known my thyroid was my issue and I probably wouldn't be here today.  It would have been easier to give up and there's things I'm still struggling with.  There is help!  Don't be afraid to ask.  Yes, there's some people who won't understand but there are MANY others who will.  When I thought I was going crazy because my one endocrinologist said Grave's Disease had nothing to do with my anxiety, many people in an online support group helped me learn it did.  It helped start me down a path of knowing my disease and finding the right treatment.

My dear friend lost her brother-in-law to suicide 1-1/2 years ago today.  Please watch the video below & please share.  No matter what your struggle is... thyroid, autoimmune, or not... We need you & you are loved!

Doctor shopping. Should you do it? (Why I left my last 3 Endocrinologists.)

I don't want anyone reading this to get discouraged about their health if they are suffering with autoimmune diseases.  I want you to take it as a learning lesson.  My life is not yours.  Don't think that having thyroid disease, Hashimoto's, Graves' disease, or whatever you have is going to bring you down the same paths I have been.  I've had many doctors tell me that thyroid disorders are some of the most difficult diseases to diagnose and treat.  You may have a fantastic doctor who is just trying to find the right treatment for you and these adjustments in your treatment, or medication, may take months to kick in.

What you NEED to do is look for warning signs that your doctor may not be right for you.  You're paying them to make you better so you deserve the best treatment you can get!  If you don't understand what they are doing or why they are doing it, ASK!  How do they respond to your questions?  Do they give you a clear explanation?  Do they take their time with you and not rush you out of their office?

Why I left my last 3 endocrinologists:

1) When my 1st endocrinologist told me my Graves' disease / hyperthyroidism had nothing to do with my anxiety.

• But I never had anxiety attacks until recently.
• Are you sure it doesn't?
• Even the Mayo Clinic says it goes hand in hand.
• Or what about the US National Library of Medicine National Institutes of Health studies?
• Even mental health docs say anxiety can be prevalent with Graves', so are you sure? 

Oh ok, you're the specialist and how dare I question your treatment even though my body feels all messed up still.  Why am I leaving your practice you ask?  I don't think I need to give an explanation.  He even had the NERVE to call my pharmacy to put in to NOT refill my thyroid medication after I told them I was leaving.  This caused problems when I got the new script from my 2nd endocrinologist.  Luckily that was quickly cleared up.

2) When my 2nd endocrinologist lied to me.

He was the one that pushed my thyroidectomy, and after that, when I was feeling symptomatic and had all these new issues,  I asked if he was testing other levels instead of just TSH.  "So you just tested my T4/T3 & Free T4/T3 and all my vitamin levels?" He said, "Yes." Got my labs and only TSH was done.

I might still have been with that endocrinologist today if he hadn't lied to me.  How hard is it to write on a script to have certain things tested for when I ask for it?  They aren't paying for it, my insurance is.  He could have at least humored me and ordered it and then just not look at the other results if he really didn't care.  But to lie to me?  It's unacceptable.

3) When my 3rd endocrinologist just wouldn't listen about how I was feeling.

My last health post was pretty much dedicated to the fine disaster that came from this doctor.  I would love to have said I TOLD YOU! to him but I'm not an asshole.  I could tell just by the look on his face at my last appointment that he knew he made a mistake.  His lesson will be losing me as a patient.

~

These doctors were not right for me.  It doesn't mean that that are not right for other people.  Some people do fine on synthetic T4 medications, some don't!  (Before I had my thyroidectomy, and before I had Graves' I did just fine on synthetic T4.)  Since I am going to live with this the rest of my life I need to understand it and I need to have doctors help me regulate it and understand it.  Again, everyone is different.  Reference ranges for blood tests don't mean you are necessarily going to feel fine within those ranges.

 ~

Now I know it's easier said than done to say, "Hey! Don't get discouraged!"  My panic attacks have gone full blown again.  I had, maybe, 1 day last week where I didn't have at least one.  That in addition to my depression is keeping me inside most of the time, unless someone drags me out of the house.  Due to this my doctors have pulled me from work for at least 2 months to give me time to see my new doctors and get tests done and, hopefully, get the right treatment.  I also now have a swollen lingual tonsil that is driving me insane and I went to my ENT about it maybe 3x and feel like going in again because it has been over a month and isn't getting any better.  If anything, it's getting worse and causing my speech to be more raspy.  All of this, and personal matters brought me down so low there was a few times I really scared myself.

Then a day before my appointment with my new endocrinologist I got a call saying she needed to reschedule.  Ok.  So, what's the earliest we can do that?  The woman tells me at the END OF JUNE!  No!  This can't be happening to me!  Instant panic and I'm crying on the phone with her.  I'm out of work.  I already cancelled my appointment with my old endocrinologist.  I set up the appointment but I'm wondering what can I do to get treated before.  Who's a good endocrinologist who I haven't gone to see yet, or naturopath / neuropathy that maybe can help me?  I left a message for my therapist advising what I was told and I felt lost and on the search again.  An hour later, they call back & tell me they can get me in on Monday!  What a relief!  Though everything worked out for the better and I could now relax, not much later the pain of another panic attack hit.

The not so fantastic life of autoimmune diseases.

One of the fun (sarcasm) things about having autoimmune diseases, as well as other diseases or sickness, is the fact that you can have these random and odd symptoms pop up out of no where.  If you don't document what's going on, they can be gone in a flash and then forgotten until it happens again, if it ever does happen again.  These uncommon, and sometimes odd, happenings could be a gateway to the right diagnosis and treatment.  You need to DOCUMENT EVERYTHING!

I may have mentioned before that a friend of mine had given me a journal a while back, happily titled, "I'm Going To Die."  I could really use a new one to start fresh going forward because if I do hand it to my doctor and say, "Read from this page going forward," they end up going backward looking at my chicken scratch of shit like my diet and weight loss from years prior, missing the point of the smaller, and most recent things that should be standing out.  And though it's almost always with me, it has been neglected far too much.  What I should be doing is consistently documenting it and then also placing color tabs in it showing weight, symptoms, or medication adjustments.

My brain has been absolute mush lately.  The other day I thought 2015 was 2 years ago, that we were already in May, that last week was this week and almost missed a doctor appointment if I hadn't checked my voice mail from the day prior.  Lately I've been questioning my total thyroidectomy, if it was really the right decision.  Knowing what I do now, I feel my endocrinologist at the time was adjusting my meds too quickly.  If it's so easy to regulate when you have no thyroid, and it supposedly only takes around 3 months to get the meds to even out your system, how come almost a year later, & on the same dosing, my TSH is STILL dropping making me hyperthyroid?   I should have switched endocrinologists months ago, when I told him I was feeling hyperthyroid and he started passing me off as diabetic.

'Alohi trying to comfort me.

I've become depressed again.  No one wants to be around someone who is sick all the time.  At least those who don't understand what I'm going through.  Plus you realize that people who have been with you since the start of it all still don't get it.  I also don't want to be around people who don't understand what I'm going through.  I don't want sympathy, nor empathy or suggestions to help fix me.  My idea of being strong right now is avoiding most human contact and stressful situations.  Usually by hermitting myself in my home and crying most of the day.  I've tried many times to write about my depression but have found it too difficult.

May is going to be full of changes and it can't come any sooner.  I have a new endocrinologist and rheumatologist lined up.  The last time I went to a rheumatologist was at the end of 2013, before I had gone back to work from my leave.  I was in so much pain on synthetic T4 medication and, at that time, no one was associating it with my medication or, lack of, thyroid.  I've mentioned it before, how the internal medicine doctor diagnosed me with fibromyalgia and was pushing... PUSHING... Lyrica on me.  My PA under my primary doctor had already addressed my increasing pain and recommended I see an rheumatologist.

You're probably thinking, "Well, if your other doctor told you to see a rheumatologist, how come you went to internal medicine?"  Unless it's blatantly obvious what's wrong with you, which probably 99% of the time it's not when you have thyroid (or most other) autoimmune conditions, it can sometimes (and usually does) take a month or more to set up initial appointments with new specialists.  So when your body is screaming with pain, you're going to start searching and reaching out to anyone for answers to MAKE IT STOP IMMEDIATELY!  Yet that can become a problem.  A problem of misdiagnosis and incorrect treatment.

What I did learn from that rheumatologist appointment was that I did not have RA, but I did have ANA which suggested lupus.  After a few appointments and notes that my pain was most likely due to my (lack of) thyroid, and with no further mention of lupus or ANA, AND with the pain starting to diminish with the start of NDT, I thought it was unnecessary for me to continue to go.

Fast forward to now.  

Those little hiccups in your health that you might ignore could mean something.  Googling symptoms can usually overload you with incorrect information, and WebMd Symptom Checker always points you to some sort of cancer.  Yet sometimes, just sometimes, things will stand out.  Something that has bothered me for YEARS and I just never really thought about it, was the sensitivity to sunlight that I have.

No I don't break out in hives or blisters, nor get sunburns if I'm out in the sun.  Then again, I'm rarely in the sun so I probably wouldn't know. What does happen is that I get nauseous, light headed, dizzy, and headaches that sometimes are borderline migraines.  It's been on and off for years, and when I lived in CA the constant sun was pure Hell for me!  I started noticing it again the last few weeks as it has been on and off sunny.  Even if it's cloudy, if it's bright out I want to rip my eyes out or my head off.  If the day would start off dark and gloomy I might feel fine, then the sun would come out and I'd feel like death, then it would go away again and the death feeling would go away.  Factor in other things like losing my hair again, skin rashes, burning joint pain that feels like it's in my right hip, I think something else is going on.

I reached out to a friend of mine who I knew has lupus.  Like thyroid disorders, lupus can sway in many directions as far as diagnosis, symptoms, and treatment.  There is also a lot of similarity in symptoms of lupus and thyroid diseases.  Considering I have ANA, no thyroid, and am still having all these issues, I figured it was time for some new doctors.

I just wish I was being treated right and felt better now.  I can only pray that will be soon.

You can't love everything.

I'm still testing some stuff out from my Birchbox before I get into the post of everything I received & what I think of it.  I noticed some beauty bloggers out there tend to do posts right away when they get it & it's like, "Hey!  This is what I got!  Here are the colors (if it's makeup or nail polish).  I love the colors & they are so in right now!  I'm not wearing anything because I just opened the box.  Let me tell you about the product from what's already listed about it on the package or online, not from my personal experience because I haven't even tried it yet."  EVERYTHING is great, & they love it all already without even having used it.  Let me tell you, putting a dab of something on your hand doesn't mean it's going to look good on your face.


So there's a blog I really like called Beauty Test Dummies.  On products they give you their star rating up to 5 stars, normal retail price, the "skinny" on the product & how it worked (or didn't work) for them, if they would keep or toss it, and more information on the company & product they are reviewing like links to the company's websites or where you can buy the products.  It's kind of the direction I'd like to go with my blog though I think if there's a product out there that I personally don't like, that product had to go through a lot of initial testing in the 1st place to even make it on the market.  So even if it's not a fit for me, it has to be a fit for someone out there!  I even found a review they did for the last product I reviewed!  The Rosemary Mint shampoo.  They wouldn't buy it but I loved the stuff!  See, everyone's different, & if you're looking for good & true product reviews, instead of a blog where everything reviewed they love, love, love (all the time) you should follow them!

I've been really down the last few weeks which I have been attributing to my hypothyroidism.  I did end up calling my OBGYN about my hot flashes & possible low estrogen causing it, who said to call my endocrinologist.  I'm so sick of this back & forth.  I'm not even looking for treatment because I know things can just eventually even out once I'm off the prednisone & on the right dosing of thyroid hormones.  I just would like answers if that's really the problem or not.  As soon as any of my doctors hear that I had Graves' and a thyroidectomy, they just pass off any other symptoms I'm currently having as a possible hypothyroid problems without even really looking into it on their end.  "Talk to your endocrinologist."  Well, my endocrinologist doesn't think it has anything to do with my hypothyroidism. "It could, you need to talk to him.  We can't help you."  So, more sleepless nights to suffer though with no answers.  I just have to hope & pray it eventually goes away.

As of yesterday I started my last 2 weeks of prednisone.  Down to 5mg a day & boy am I feeling it with aches.  I go through this every time I lower the dose & it will probably be the worst when I completely go off the medication.  I like to describe the feeling as either (a) being hit by a car or (b) being beat up with a baseball bat.  I feel like I'm bruised & battered all over & it hurts to be touched.  Even my hair.

One good thing about yesterday was I got a new script for glasses!  The first thing they did was an automated perimetry visual field test.  I had to cover one eye and consistently stare at an orange dot in front of me that reminded me H.A.L. 9000, then little flashes of light would randomly come up on the screen around the orange light & if I saw them, I would use a clicker to register it.  It's very annoying & sometimes I wasn't sure if I was seeing dots that were being administered by the machine or if they were floaters.  After that came a long process of, "Put on your current glasses & cover this eye & read this line."  Then, "Cover your other eye & take off your glasses & read that line."  Then, "Is this better or worse?  Is this sharper or is this one sharper?  Which one is more clear?"  Over, and over, and over again.... until.... OMG! I can read everything CLEARLY!  Upon leaving my doctor told me that the script is quite different than what I currently have.  Surprising how much it changed in a years time.  He also joked, "The easy part is over.  Now here comes the hardest part of all this.  Shopping for glasses."

I also got my 1st Ipsy bag yesterday!  I can't wait to give everything a try.  They must get some super deal through DHL to be using them.  It took 13 days to get from NC to me in NY.  Seems kind of excessive considering it came from the same coast I'm on.  It took Ipsy 6 days after it shipped to even notify me that it had.  What really confused me though was they gave me a USPS tracking code that advised it had been already delivered to some place in CA back in August.  This was updated correctly once DHL handed it off to my post office.  I'm so used to using USPS when I ship stuff that if it's within the continental USA it's there within a week.  Well, now I know what to expect as far as a time frame with them.  Give it a full 2 weeks.

Well, lots to do today though I feel like curling up under a blanket and sleeping.  I'm sure that will happen at some point soon.  More later!

Learning more about hypothyroidism & REVIEW of De~Luxe Rosemary Mint shampoo & conditioner.

Thursday was not a good day for me.  I saw both my eye specialist and endocrinologist and I got answers to all of my questions.  These answers were very vague though and left me upset and just confused about the future of my health.  I keep trying to be optimistic about how I am being treated and it just feels like every time I'm figuring something out, or start understanding it, I end up realizing how much I don't know and become more confused and depressed about it all.

Since the surgery my eyesight has been progressively getting worse with blurring, light streaking, and double vision mostly in my left eye.  I felt like my glasses under my old script were not helping, though I realized at the eye doctor on Thursday they are helping a little.  My doctor informed me that for a year, or longer, certain antibodies from the Graves' disease can be elevated in my body, affecting my eyesight, & there's that possibility it might just get better or it could get worse also.  They've done enough they can with the steroids so I've been off the steroid eye drops & in a few weeks I'll be tapered off the prednisone.

I have an appointment next week to check my vision range & get a new script for glasses in which I will need.  He said the lenses need to be, I believe, fragmented and there's a possibility the lenses would need a new vision script every few months (depending if my vision gets worse or not).  He gave me a few eye exercises to do as much as I can (or when I remember) and I go back in a month.

I left the office in tears because everything seems so uncertain with this.  Not only that, but I've worn reading glasses for many years & my vision has only slightly changed.  My reading glasses that I got over 10 years ago finally broke 2 years ago and so I got the vision plan through my employment, got a new pair of cheap, reading glasses, then dropped the plan during (what seemed to be a very early) open enrollment last year.  A few months later I was diagnosed with Graves' and a few months after that, diagnosed with Thyroid Eye Disease.  I do have a discount plan under my current health insurance for glasses but it will hardly put a dent in what this is going to cost me considering I will need both new frames and lenses in which the lenses may need to be changed every few months.

If I know what I'm typing, or have an idea of the subject of what I'm reading, I can make out words though I still struggle.  Testing myself, reading random numbers and letters all together is a major stress on my eyes.  So, when my job consists of me reading a lot of VINs, phone numbers, e-mails and It's not like I can re-program the systems used to make the fonts super large so I can make them out just for my own sake, I NEED these glasses.  Besides the cost though, I am kind of excited to get new glasses.  Not only for the fact that I'll be able to see better but I like wearing glasses.  I'm a bit of a geek at heart!

Then I get home & learn how much people very close to me don't even understand what I'm going through.  Giving me their advice thinking that the doctors advice is bad, & being on this medication is screwing me up.  It's not the medication, it's the condition.  If I stopped the medication I'm on I would be so much worse off.  I don't have a thyroid anymore.  I don't have one that's even partially working to help control my metabolism.  If I don't take a medication or supplements to help I have NOTHING controlling my metabolism.  Just eating certain foods & exercising is not going to make me better (though I understand it can help).  At least I also understand why they wanted to put me on prednisone.  My doctor didn't extend the use of it, which he very well could have.  Even though I may be confused & frustrated about what the doctors are telling me and what their action plans are for me, from what I am reading and learning, everything they are doing & how they are doing it is the best they can do at this point in time.

Then I went to see my endocrinologist.  Some things are better but many things just seem the same.  I explain to him all my other symptoms that I've mentioned a million times on here before because nothing seems to be getting better & it's all the same thing day after day after day.  Turns out my TSH jumped.  When you have hypothyroidism TSH is usually high, hyperthyroidism it's usually low.  Going over my labs my TSH when I had Graves' was .002,  about a week after the surgery my TSH was considered normal at 2.199 and now it jumped to 7.499.  TSH is not the only thing we are looking at with my blood work but being that high it's a major reason why I feel like crap.  He explained to me how my pituitary glad is overworking due to the fact I have no thyroid proving that the medication dosage I'm on is not enough.  So my levothyroxine was upped from 125 to 150mcg.

When I was at my endocrinologist he had no clue why I was waking up at night sweating like crazy and feeling like crap.  Then, like a miracle, Stop the Thyroid Madness posted a link about sleeping disorders when suffering as hypothyroid.  I didn't know that being hypothyroid could directly effect estrogen levels causing this!  This may not be the answer to why this is happening to me as I will need further testing to determine if that's what it really is, but this information will help me with new question to ask & who to seek help from.  I may just get better after time when I find the right thyroid medication dosage, and if not, this information will help me know what I may need to test later to fix, yet another, problem.

Remember how I posted that link in my last post about the petition for endocrinologists to be up to date on the care of thyroid patients?  THAT LAST PARAGRAPH IS ANOTHER REASON WHY!  It seems so simple that I could have told my endocrinologist, "Hey, I'm waking up at all hours of the night all hot & sweating. (Though I'm freezing cold also.  I know this sounds all mixed up so imagine how I'm feeling!)  Even when I take a nap in the middle of the day I wake up all sweaty.  Sometimes I'm not even taking a naps & I get sweaty & gross."  His response shouldn't have been, "Oh, I have no clue why that's happening."  It should have been, "Well, being hypothyroid it can also cause havoc on your estrogen levels."  Then from there advised if I should have it checked out, or if it should get better once my other hormones level out, or if it doesn't what I should do.  Nope, he had no clue.  Again, PLEASE, if you have not already, SIGN THE PETITION!

I'm not even going to bring it up to him until I see him next.  I AM going to call my OBGYN though & explain everything to them because I am on a birth control that could be contributing to this & see if maybe there's something better.  Before I change anything I will request another blood test be done to see if this really is the problem though it completely makes sense that it could be!

Because I'm sick of feeling sick I ask when I should start seeing results.  Mind you, they said 6-8 weeks after surgery I could be completely better & here I am almost 7 weeks out and feeling like complete crap.  Almost feeling the same as I have been feeling since right after the surgery.  Here comes the vague, it could be days and it could be longer, maybe another month.  Month after month, they keep adding months to how long it will be before I start feeling better so I'm starting to lose faith as to when this time is going to come.  I want one week, just ONE WEEK, where I have no symptoms at all.  One week where I'm not uncomfortable in my body.  One week where I feel normal again to know that I'm finally on the right path.  Right now I can't even get a full day in of feeling normal.

So it has been depressing me.

Last night's bath consisted of:

• Rose bath bomb by tmizerek on eBay
• Daddy-O shampoo by Lush Cosmetics
• Buffy shower scrub by Lush Cosmetics
• Divine Calm body wash by The Body Shop (no longer available)
• Sister's Lavender & Vanilla Bean body butter by Mainely Cole's

With my last order to fragrancenet.com I got a small sample of Rosemary Mint shampoo and conditioner by De~Luxe SaVON.  Though I don't see it for sale on their site I did find it on drugstore.com.

They list the product as paraben free, biodegradable, synthetic fragrance free using pure essential oils, it has natural plant based ingredients, 100% pure botanical extracts, and it's cruelty free, not tested on animals!

I was able to use the samples over about a 4 day period.  The scent is very strong with both the rosemary and mint so if either of these bother you, as the scent will linger in your hair, the product may not be for you.  Having short hair, a little bit went a long way as it lathered nicely.  99% of the time I air dry my hair & these left me with a nice bounce & volume, a good clean feeling, and softness.

I would definitely buy the full sizes for myself & the cheapest I did find them were at drugstore.com.  If you are interested in doing a trial of the products before you buy, drugstore.com does sell travel sizes, currently $1.59, of both the shampoo and conditioner.

Happy bathing!

“If you don't like the weather in New England now, just wait a few minutes.”

First off this is VERY important to me!  Please take a moment and go to this link & sign the petition for change in the treatment of patients with thyroid disorders WORLDWIDE!  It would be even more amazing if you would SHARE it and its importance to your family, friends and even people you don't know.  I had already suffered under the care of one endocrinologist who did not treat me well, nor understand how I could still be suffering because he was basing it off of old education.  My family and I soon learned how the condition was affecting me more than he did & I found a much better doctor.  It is such a complicated condition & doctors need to be educated & treat patients individually & differently, keeping up with all the new information & medicine that can HELP US!  So, PLEASE, SIGN & SHARE!

This WILL put you on an e-mail list for Change.org but it is VERY EASY to unsubscribe.  After you sign, you should immediately get an e-mail from change.org with links at the bottom where you can choose to either update subscriptions, or unsubscribe.  It's THAT EASY! 

I got my 2nd Birchbox the other day!  Some of the products I love & some I'm still trying out so expect an update w/in the next few weeks with the reviews!

The holidays are coming and most stores have their Autumn lineup of scents out.  If you don't already know, The Body Shop will be releasing a new, limited edition line called Honeymania (If you click the link you can already see a few of the products that will be available) and you should start seeing it in your local stores & sold online by mid October with their holiday lineup.

OH how I LOVE honey!  They way it smells, the way it makes my skin feel in beauty products, the way it tastes!  I was told they will be making a bath melt with this line also.  I think it's kind of a perfect time for them to be releasing the line as it will be autumn so you will not be chased down by bees wearing this scent (at least here in NY you shouldn't).  I had that problem a while back with a honey & almond/orange product of theirs.  I'm so excited for this line to be released!

Redbook is currently having a Honeymania soap giveaway through October 14th, 2013.  There will be 10 winners & you can only enter once during the sweepstakes period.  If you do not want the free trial of the magazine please MAKE SURE you select the "CLICK HERE" in the subscription disclaimer to keep you from getting it.  Good luck if you enter!

I haven't been very motivated, nor feeling well, the past week.  I woke up the other day to the temp outside at 42º and the inside temp 70º which felt freezing to me.  I took my medication, fell asleep for about another hour on the couch curled up under 2 blankets, woke up for breakfast then fell asleep probably for another 2 hours.  I felt tired, achy, & wished it was a dark, rainy day because then I could somehow justify my laziness.  Coffee couldn't even keep me awake.  The next day my wish for rain and gloom came true & the day was wasted though I got some reading & writing done.  Yesterday the temp got up to almost 90º and my body couldn't decide if I wanted to be extremely cold or extremely hot, & today the high is supposed to be 86º.  Then on Friday the high is supposed to be only 55º.  It's THAT time of year in WNY and my hypothyroidism is NOT helping!

I've been writing this over the last few days also to get stuff out of my head.  Still frustrated with my vision & how I am feeling, I had blood taken on Monday and have 2 appointments tomorrow so I'm really hoping to have some answers as to what's going on with my body & condition.  I have a feeling I am going to need more medication adjustments.

The other day I also realized just HOW dry my hair was.  My friend was taking me out & so, while getting ready, I took my flat iron to it & that really didn't work out so well.  Even on the lowest heat setting it just seemed to singe my dry hair even more.  I have been neglecting using oil in my hair lately so I need to bring that back into my daily routine & also do a conditioning masque a few times per week.

I put a tweet out the other day that stated, Had the #muddiest, #dirtiest looking #bath ever tonight. #Tub was a complete #mess after. #Skin feels amazing! More later! :)  Here's the, "More later," part.

The last order I placed with Drugstore.com I was looking for new products to try to help with my dry skin after the thyroidectomy and I came across a line of products from a company called The Seaweed Bath Co.  Since I felt I had enough bar soaps & shower gels & am always looking for new bath additives, I noticed their Wildly Natural Seaweed Powder Bath with Hawaiian Kukui Oil & decided to get it in the Citrus scent.  It was on sale, I like seaweed & all natural products, I got another free product of theirs with it, I checked out the reviews & decided that this was my kind of product!  So I bought it.

When I received it I noticed there was a disclaimer on the product that advised to consult a doctor before use if you had a thyroid condition so I went to their facebook page and questioned it.  They responded, "The warning on the packaging is due to the naturally occurring iodine found in seaweed, which we use in all of our products. Iodine can stimulate the thyroid."  When you have a thyroid, and it is working properly, it takes iodine & processes it into T4.  So, I can understand the warning, but I don't have a thyroid anymore so it was very interesting to learn that about the seaweed!

The ingredient are: Sodium chloride (dead sea salt), Fucus vesiculosus (bladderwrack seaweed), Citrus reticulata (tangerine) essential oil, Zingiber officinalis (ginger) essential oil, Argania spinosa (organic argan) oil, Aleurites moluccana (kukui) oil, Aloe barbadensis (aloe), Tocopherol (natural vitamin E).  

I posted some pictures of my preparation and the aftermath of using this product above.  It is suggested for adults that you use 4-5 scoops (it comes with the scoop), the bath water should be a medium brown, soak for 15-30 minutes, and for best results to use 3-4 baths per week, one per day.  The container says you should get around 16 baths out of it.

The 1st time I used this product I just dumped all 4 scoops into the running water.  Because the "powder" is so dense with all the oils & seaweed, it really didn't dissolve much.  So, the 2nd time I used a trick by putting it in a nylon knee high, tied it at the top, kept it under the running water & also massaged it between my fingers to get it to dissolve.  This worked much better, though, as you can see in the pictures, still left a film on my skin & tub.  Now, imagine how it was without the nylon!

The scent of it is very earthy and considering that seaweed is the 2nd ingredient, that's what you will pick up on the most.  I didn't really pick up on the citrus scent until the 2nd bath where I got more of it to dissolve.

I have an old, ugly, plastic tub where any oily bath additive will stick to the side of it.  Like with the tub, this will stick to your skin.  I should emphasize stick!  When you are done with the bath if you just get up & on out you will have brown dots, splotches, streaks all over you.  Just taking a washcloth & water will not remove it & you will actually need a soap or soap-like product to do so.  I'm going to suggest that if you DO buy this product to also either get one of their skin soaps or body washes to maximize the effect.  I had neither so I used a regular body wash & bar soap with a washcloth & the splotches were easily removed from my skin.  Your tub will also look like a mess once you let the water out but it's extremely easy to clean up with a cleanser & you don't have to scrub hard.

I can't even begin to tell you how awesome my skin felt after using this!  So soft and moisturized.  So if you have eczema, psoriasis or very dry skin this is a product for you!  The best I have used so far!  If you think the brown splotches and clean up would deter you from buying this product, I can assure you the the benefits of what this can do for you with regular use will far outweigh a minor annoyance of a dirty looking tub!

 Until later, happy bathing!