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Saturday, April 4, 2015

"Just when I think I have learned the way to live, life changes." Hugh Prather

For those who celebrate, I hope you have a lovely Easter tomorrow, or a happy Passover.  I have already dyed eggs and am back on a hard boiled egg kick.  I used to make them all the time and I should probably start doing so again.

I really should be working on my taxes right now but it seems every other second I get sidetracked. If I get something on my mind I usually immediately lose the other thought I had. Then if I think about that other though again, I lose the newest thought I had. At work I've taken to shorthand writing when I need to remember something, yet even when I do that and have it right in front of me, I still sometimes overlook it.

I have some really exciting opportunities coming up for this blog by working with companies and testing products for reviews. I'm even hoping that eventually I'll be doing some giveaways! If you follow you may have noticed slight changes in the design. The background is softer, layout is slightly different, and I've also added links to make it easier to follow me on other social media platforms. If you're using a mobile device you may need to switch to the full site version to view them.

I've also FINALLY created a facebook page specifically for this blog! I'll still be sharing posts publicly on my personal page so you can still follow me there if you already do. If not, come follow me & and say hello on my Facebook blog page by clicking here! My other platforms (Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest) will not be changing.


The last time I blogged about my health was back in December.  I was concerned with my increasing anxiety and "normal" TSH of 0.42 but optimistic for the new year.  Yet once the new year came, my optimism decreased day by day, week by week.  My anti-anxiety medication was increased in dose, which helped in the beginning of the increase, yet the familiarity of other hyperthyroidism symptoms lingered.  And all the holiday parties, dinners, cookies and treats didn't keep me from losing weight either!

The last few times I saw my endocrinologist he kept treating me like a diabetic, and not the thyroid-less, hyperthyroid symptomatic patient that I really was.  I regularly checked my blood glucose in the morning, which was rarely over 100, and before my most recent appointment with him in March, my neurologist had decided to set up a 3 hour glucose test for me in addition to the A1C test he wanted me to have.  Both came back with flying colors that I was NOT diabetic.

So what the hell is wrong with me? Well I found out.  My most recent labs said my TSH dropped to 0.18.  I AM hyperthyroid!

Immediately I teared up.  I'm so pissed he didn't listen to me MONTHS ago when I was on the low end of "normal" range, feeling hyperthyroid, and having him pass me off as a possible diabetic!  I also learned just how much Big Pharma has him under their wing as he started pushing synthroid on me again.  WTF?  I was in so much pain, debilitating and excruciating at times, and insanely fatigued on that medication that there's no way in hell I would ever go back on it!  Sure it works for some people but not me!  Then he goes on to tell me that I'm one in 5% of people who do better on NDT medications!  Are you fucking serious?  I found this article which I thought was extremely interesting showing, though in 1999 and only a study of 70 patients, 49% of the patients studied preferred NDT.  Everyone needs to be treated on their own individual basis, not by how you treat the masses!  What's it going to take?  Another year after I've gained back my 30 lbs., maybe more, and my TSH at 4.4, crying that I'm feeling awful?  But wait!  He'll tell me that my TSH is in NORMAL range.  (Though I'd just be on the outskirts of being clinically hypothyroid.)

Sorry about my rant but it really gets me worked up and upset.  As a result my thyroid dosage was decreased.  He said to skip the next day completely so I did, thinking that day I would be a mess due to the fact that I've been on the same dosing schedule for almost a year.  Then, going forward, on Saturdays I go to 1/2 dose, Sunday no dose (typical of what I had been doing), then Monday through Friday back on my normal schedule.  Instead, my body felt the adjustment kick in the very next day and I was a mess.

As of right now I'm feeling pretty... perfect.  I'm praying it will last though I don't really expect it to considering I felt like absolute poo all day, no, all week.  Really, crappy the last couple of months.  I really don't want to forget this feeling and experience it more often.  It seems like since the adjustment, every other day I am having terrible anxiety, panic attacks and either headaches or migraines along with it.  Occasionally, terrible nausea also.  I can't really remember how I felt the last time it was adjusted because it was so long ago, but the symptoms are familiar.  I wish a lot of people would think I'm strong and fighting through it, though I know they can't see my struggle.  Instead I've learned many people do think of my illness as a joke.  I do put up a good front in front of others, yet the majority of the time when I'm alone, I'm crying over it.


So spring has sprung in WNY and I am anticipating the arrival of the spring peepers!  The birds are already annoying me at 6am with their chirping and it got up to 70ºF a few days ago, and it is currently snowing.  I normally welcome the additional spring snow showers but this winter has been quite brutal so I am ready for it to stop.

The Betties and I were also all finally together, though a small series of unfortunate events caused it to be extended.  A cold and, unexpected, snowy Thursday was spent in Rochester, NY.  You can read about it here on my dear friend Andrea's newest blog, hObsessions.  Then on Sunday we all had breakfast at Betty's then the gals and I headed to creep around Forest Lawn Cemetery and then Love Canal.  By the end of the day, which I believe was around 4pm for me, I was insanely exhausted and, after a quick dinner and bath, slept right through to Monday morning.  I think.

Though I have more to write about I'm going to leave it at that for now.  Take care everyone!

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