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Saturday, July 27, 2013

Under the knife... again!

Tonight's bath consisted of:

I was happy to find three Me! Bath ice creams on my last trip to TJ Maxx for close to $5 each.  SCORE!

Over the last couple of weeks ideas, thoughts, plans of things that were going to happen were in the works for me.  And then.... things just turned in a completely different direction.  Of course this all has to do with my thyroid & autoimmune disease!  We thought RAI therapy was going to be the best option for me.  We decided against that.

I really have to thank everyone for all the kind words & support.  Family, friends, even people who hardly know me.  Others who have been through this, or are still going through this.  No one really knows how awful Graves' Disease is unless that are going through it.  Before being treated for Hashimoto's thyroiditis, I've talked to SO many people going through that & they tell me how terrible it is.  I know, I've been there & was being treated for that before the Graves' kicked in.  I just pray it doesn't switch on like a light to Graves' like mine did.  I can't wait to get back to hypothyroid... or even better... NORMAL!

Monday I am going in for surgery to have a total thyroidectomy.  There's no concern for cancer with me but when I was 1st diagnosed with Graves' the plan was to start on a high dose of medication & then get my numbers evened out & taper off of that.  Well, my body didn't want to work that way.  Instead, they would even out but then immediately slip.  So, the dosing went higher... then higher... then higher.  Now my T3 & T4 levels are in a good range for the surgery, but my THS is almost non-existent again so my anxiety is through the roof & a good reason why I've been so ill in many ways lately.

It has put a lot of things on hold.  On a leave from work, seeing 5 different doctors because of it, missing going to Toronto with one of my BFFs, etc etc etc.  Everyone keeps telling me things will get better after they remove it.  I've been feeling like crap for so long it's almost unbelievable!  Excited, nervous, anxious, scared.  I may & may not have a long road of recovery after.

And my eyes!  Oh my eyes!  So you can't really see it by looking at me but I have the start of TED in my left eye.  It's extremely slight & they had me on steroid eye drops for it but are weening me off of that & have me on a high dose of oral prednisone (WORST medication EVER), before the surgery &, under supervision, are going to ween me off of that (hopefully) by the end of September.  My eye is constantly tearing so it's hard to see out of it, things get blurry or light streaks across my vision, like if you were looking at lights through water. That in conjunction with the vision in my right eye being fine, causes confusion sometimes.  It's been making it difficult to not only see but drive my car also.  I can be sitting around & tears will just start rolling down my cheek like I'm crying & I can't get it to stop.  I do NOT want that to get any worse!

The whole thing is still so confusing to me.  There's so much to know & learn & do suffering through this.  Not to take up so much time writing about it but, it's my blog so I can do what I want.  Of course, I'll keep everyone informed.

In addition to this I really messed up my computer the other week also.  UGGHHH!  I did something that made it try to boot from the E: drive (which was what I was using my flash drive under) while moving some documents around.  Had a hell of a time getting past passwords & moving files from the hard drive to a portable one.  Then I had to reinstall Windows.  Reinstall all my programs.  Reinstall all my drivers.

Upon doing so I found some pictures I would like to share!

Can you tell I love purple?  That's an old picture of my closet too.  Things have kind of expanded to 2 more shelves.  This doesn't even get into my candle addiction.

I think once I get back on my feet I am going to also subscribe to both Birchbox & Ipsy. I have been toying with the idea of both of them lately.  This should be interesting.  I was doing Julep, but that's another story for another day.  I always have so many ideas & things I want to write about but with this illness everything I have been doing to get to this point, my blog has just been another thing put on the back burner.  I really hope not for much longer.

Well, I warned the hospital at my pre-operation appointment that, considering I can't eat after midnight, have to be there at 10:30am & surgery isn't until 1:30pm that I may become quite crabby & irritable.  They said no lotion, nail polish, perfumes, oils, makeup or deodorant.  Also went to CowPök to have my ear piercings removed that I couldn't get out on my own in prep for Monday.

Feeling more scared about it all... if anything.  Maybe I'll have some time to update tomorrow just some general fun stuff.  Kind of doubt it though it would be nice.

Wish me luck!

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